February is the shortest month of the year for a reason

by Kay Hoflander

February 8, 2008






For the past week I have been trying to think of something funny and happy to write about, but I just can't do it. It is February after all, possibly the most depressing month of the year.

Why? The signs are everywhere.

Let us start early in the month with Groundhog Day. Talk about depressing. Who came up with this genius plan to give a rodent such authority to force us into six more weeks of winter just because he sees his shadow?

Next, there is the unhappy fact that sports lull in February. No more college bowl games. No more Super Bowl. Football season is completely and finitely over. Period. The end. We are still weeks away from March Madness. Spring baseball training and opening day are nowhere in sight. It is a veritable sports black hole.

The Chinese New Year arrives in February on the blackest day of the month, the new moon. To top that off, 2008 is the "Year of the Rat" in Chinese Astrology. No matter how much I read that rats are symbols of prosperity and wealth, I am having trouble with the mental picture of a rat. Ok, sure last year was the Year of the Pig, and it wasn't too bad. How bad can the Year of the Rat be? Don't answer that.

I remember January fondly when all the stores had huge sales making it a great month to shop. In February, on the other hand, stores are debuting their new spring lines. I am really not at all interested in buying yellow Capri pants and a straw handbag when I am still trying to scrape the sleet off my car. Drat that groundhog anyway. By the way, I will not even broach the subject of bathing suits, already in the stores, so as to not send any dieting woman into a complete and dark funk. Shopping is out of the question.

What is next on the February calendar? A pressure-filled Valentine's Day that is what. It is just as depressing as Groundhog Day and the Chinese New Year. No matter how many Valentine's Days one has been through how can one possibly live up to its expectations. And what mass conspiracy decided to raise the price of roses five times the normal cost?

On the bright side on Valentine's Day one can joyously accept boxes of chocolate. Wait! No we can't. Remember those bathing suits in the department stores.

This is about the time of year when New Year's resolutions are breaking down if they have not already.

It is tax time. Christmas decorations are still not completely stored away. The garage is full of sand and street dirt.

Simply put, February is no fun at all.

What is this I see on the calendar? Horror of horrors, it is Leap Year giving us one more day in February.

I feel just like Charlie Brown when Lucy pulls the football away just as he is about to kick it. Arrgh!